A Match

So. Most of the people who will be reading this blog know that we are planning to adopt. Some of you have been in our betting pool, and some have been asking us how things are going.

We have our biggest news so far. We have matched!

A potential birthmother, who I will call E, chose our profile from a stack of letters, along with a couple of others. It turned out that the other two couples she chose had just matched with someone else. Our adoption agency told us that E would call us, but she never did. At that point, I was pretty sure she would never call (probably a desire for closure on my part). A week or two later, our adoption agency called and said that E didn't want to talk on the phone, she just wanted to meet us and match with us. So we set up a meeting, which happened yesterday. At that point, our agency declared us matched, and we had to make yet another payment to them.

Before the meeting, we didn't know what to think. We had a lot of unanswered questions, and we had never even met her. We definitely didn't walk into the room (a rather blank room, at a faceless business center in downtown Sacramento) totally sure of matching.

In the first few minutes that E and MK, her mom, walked into the room, we really liked them ALOT. We both had images of them in our minds, and those images were completely wrong. They were warm and funny and irreverent and just sort of unique. We had questions about some issues, like the birthfather and the degree of contact we'd have with their family if we adopted, and they were answered in a way that felt okay to us. So we knew, after less than an hour, that it would be a fit. E and MK said they had a good feeling too, so we agreed to go ahead with the plans for the adoption.

E is due in October. She lives in the Sacramento area, and she already has a beautiful five year old daughter. The baby she is carrying is a girl.

One caveat. Just because we have matched, doesn't mean we will be adopting. Before the birth, 25-30% of matches fall through. At the hospital, about 10% do. And 4% even fall through after the adoptive parents take the baby home and before the relinquishment is signed. E could change her mind, and in order for this to be fair, we have to be willing for that to happen.

So basically, we are a lot closer to becoming parents than we were a week ago. But it still seems kind of unreal!