Saturday, October 13, 2007

Before the Storm

So E's due date was Friday, and it's Monday now. That means we are waiting, and we could get a phone call any minute. We have rented a car (we don't own one). We have a suitcase packed, with a change of clothes and some diapers, formula, bottles, blankets and clothes in it. We have gathered all of the paperwork we need. We have a carseat. A coworker is holding a bassinet for us, which she will bring over when we get home. And the brownies are in the freezer.

As of Saturday, the last time we talked, E didn't feel at all close to going into labor. She'd rather let the baby come on her own time than inducing labor, which I respect. We've been talking to E frequently this week, and she's full of frustration, and also funny, irreverent comments. We are lucky--E. is someone we click with. In fact, we find her delightful.

We have a lot of moments of truth in front of us. There is the moment of truth of being the witness and companion to someone who is giving birth, if we get there in time. Then there is the moment of truth for E, after she gives birth; it's a time that the adoption decision is made all over again, or in 10-15% of cases, unmade.

Have we had any indication that she might change her mind? None whatsoever. Quite the opposite, in fact. When she talks to us, she frames the situation thusly: She's chosen us, the parents. She is carrying the baby for us. And she is very eager to hear that we are excited.

Adoptive parents have to walk a fine line. We need to show the woman we match with that we are really excited, and reassure her that we care enormously about her baby. But we (at least I) still have to protect a corner of our hearts, and be cautious. I think it's way easier to throw yourself headlong into something exciting than to maintain this strange emotional vertigo.

We'll be talking to E today, and finding out more. She visits the doctor today, so we'll see what is said about induction.

Photo: daedalicious


Margie in Oakland said...

Wowy Zowy. No need to induce unless there is some actual health reason. Aiden was almost two weeks late and when he was ready, he was born super healthy. I will also say that it was frustrating to wait, and wait...and wait.

I can't wait to hear...

Kim said...

Waiting sucks. But you guys should make the most of this time. Go out again! Have some fun, even decadence.

tb said...

Perhaps she's the first of a new race of superbeings, who need a few extra days of gestation.

Hugh said...

If I were a baby, I would choose to stay in a little longer. Why come out? Nothing to see. Better to wait, and listen.

Sarah Goss said...

Hi Linda! Just a quick note to say hi and that we've been thinking about you guys, and E and the baby. Perhaps I'll give you guys a call, but don't worry about calling back if you're too busy or frantic or anything. I understand how it can be. Hope you are well.